On The Blog Again

Thank you, Willie.....and Lauren.

This post an exercise in just do it. What's going on?

Ginger is on the road to Albany New York to live. That girl is a seeker and not afraid to make a move. She and Sheila are driving via I90 through the Great Plains and the winter weather. They were here in Seattle Friday night and we ate at Snappy Dragon.

Mom is in Tacoma at Heartwood...assisted living. 87 y.o. and Alzheimer's is pulling her over the horizon. Last week was first time that she couldn't seem to remember my name, but she was affectionate in a scatterbrained way.

Kathy and I are going to Vancouver, B.C. on Thursday for a couple of days. A different kind of Thanksgiving for us. Maybe do some holiday shopping while there.

Ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch. Nur ein bisschen, but it's fun. K and I taking a night class so we can get up to speed with our daughter and have a second family language.

Lauren will be home for Christmas, hurray, and we're going off to Sleeping Lady Resort near Leavenworth for some faux Bavarian fun and snow time. When Lauren was home for the summer we went on a couple of short trips. Here's a photo near Mt. Rainier after a pretty strenuous hike up to Comet Falls.

Comet Falls 2007

Our jobs are going fine. I've lately realized that retirement nears for me, but I don't get it in some way. I'll be old enough, but I don't feel like I'm that old. We can't afford it for a while....unless we sell everything we own and move to Appalachia, so I'll be working for a while yet. But, it's nice to know I could live in some modest house in a quiet place and get by just fine with a part time job.

More later. Movie to see: "Lives of Others".

On The Road

I am in Belmont California after two days on the motorcycle headed for Ontario California. Ride thus far has been very educational about the subtleties of riding. Taking clothes on and off to respond to temperature. Remembering to run through the mental checklist while gassing up or packing. Is the top box locked and key put away? Are the straps tight that are holding the camp bags to the back seat? Have I fastened the strap of my helmet? Did I zip both pockets on my leather jacket? I have also rearranged my packing job as I figure out what really needs to be in the tankbag and what can be put away. My face is windburned, I have more trouble getting an ear plug into my right ear than I do into my left ear, and when I loosen the straps on my pack job I have to avoid letting them touch the hot exhaust....or they melt!

I started off from Seattle at 4 p.m. with the goal of reaching Portland. I stopped at Tacoma to meet my sister at Sbux and she gave me some really cool traveling clothes. Lightweight nylon pants and shirt that are SPF 50, cool, and quick drying after being hand-washed. Then, I froze my ass off riding in the evening cool to Portland. At the end there was the lightest rain. My friend Ananda bought me a cool history book at Lincoln's Cabinet (A: the smarmy bastard on The Daily Show was John Bolton!), that I had previous heard about. Spent the night at Lauren's house. She was up early to open her Starbucks at 6 a.m. I slept in, then went over there for breakfast before heading south. Once I got started, I kept going.....all the Redding California.

Going over Siskyou summit was scenic and a riding experience that was simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. Mt. Shasta was glorious as usual. From Roseburg OR south the sun was out.

The ride from Redding to Belmont was easy. Flat and straight until I got to Vallejo when I ran into a wall of cold air...ocean air being pushed inland by the fog over San Francisco. Also, there were wind gusts and the pavement surface on I80 is for shit. So, a bouncing around, sort of cold, tense ride into the city, but coming over the Bay Bridge towards San Francisco was a big thrill. Tomorrow, I have to ride to Ontario CA. The Run For The Wall starts on Weds. the 16th.

More later when I access to a computer. So far, I am reminded that adventures are necessary even though they are work, can be uncomfortable, and scarey in the strangest small ways. My rear end gets tired but the expensive saddle seems to be worth the money. I am having a good time.

On The Eve of 60

Tomorrow at 7:32 a.m. I will finish my 60th year. Strangely, I don't feel old. In some ways I'm in the best shape of my life since I joined a gym 2 years ago and have been steady about going.

Santa Monica, Tulsa, El Paso, Sierra Vista, Cu Chi, Danang, San Francisco, Marin County, Seattle...the places I've lived.

Where am I going with this? Next week I embark on the long ride on the motorcycle, so it will be great to start the next decade with a big adventure.

My daughter is graduating from college and will be traveling even farther out into the world and life, carrying more of her parent's hearts with her than she'll understand until she is a parent. She will also be carrying our pride in what a fine person she is, and we'll pat ourselves on the back for nurturing a born adventurer. She's walked on the Great Wall of China before she was 20 and scuba dived on the Great Barrier Reef.

I think I will follow her example and start going off big adventures as a regular thing....part of staying mentally young.

Thanks to all of my friends and family, many of them gone on ahead, for being part of my life. It has been a strange trip on many occasions and if I'm lucky it will continue to be that way.

Busy Time News

Sunny Saturday morning here in Seattle. Very busy weekend ahead. Got to work on motorcycle to get ready for big trip starting May 12. Twin bro Jim arriving this afternoon to spend a week with us. Lauren arriving this afternoon from Portland to spend the day. Tomorrow she will head south, pick up Benni Reuter (boyfriend from Munich) at Sea Tac and then go to Portland. She's in her last week of earning her Bachelor's Degree!

I've got house to clean, motorcycle boots to buy, lawn to mow, bills and paperwork, master bedroom to paint over the next week, and about a thousand hours of work at Perkins Coie to cram into the next two weeks.

Ginger, Mom, Jim

Sunday in Spring

lovely sunny day here in Seattle. temp in mid-60's. we're shampooing carpets and i'm cleaning up the back deck. we'll have relatives soon for the big weekend of May 4 to May 6. On the 4th we'll all migrate to Portland for a busy weekend based on Lauren's graduation from Lewis & Clark. looks like we are going to rent a floating home in the Williamette River to house everyone. it is close to L&C so should be a very cool place to stay. we'll have a bday party for me, Jim and Benni...all of us May 3, plus Sean who just had his bday on April 5.

yesterday we went to UPS at Tacoma to rendezvous with Lauren. there was a conference track meet and she drove up with friends to watch their team compete. after we went with her, Theresa, Sarah, and Laura to Farrell's Pizza and had some lunch before they hit the road for Portland.

so, a reasonably pleasant, low key weekend with half decent weather. hope all is well with everyone out there.

Fulbright Grant!

Miss Lo in a familiar spot, eh?


My fantastic daughter, Lauren, has just been awarded a Fulbright Grant for 2007/08 to teach English in Germany. Here's a link to Fulbright Website. Fulbright Program

She will be part of the "Padagogischer Austauschdienst" Teaching
Assistantships.

I guess we'll be going to Europe for Christmas again! We are so proud of how hard she has worked as a student, and quite pleased she has been honored to receive a Fulbright grant.

Have a Bit of Fun with Urban Legend

Strangely enough I ran across this in the back pages of a girly magazine from 1957 that someone gave me as a joke birthday present. While flipping past the pre-Playboy lovelies, all so naughty and nice in their fishnet stockings, I saw a grainy black and white of a guy falling to his death from a brick apartment building. Being as morbid as the next mortal I read on about this dangerous song. Then, being as modern as the next person I hit Google and got lift-off. Amazing what stories and cultural echoes bounce around out there in the awareness of millions of people over decades.....and perhaps have no real substance.

Gloomy Sunday Song Suicides

Enjoy.

Mr. Maudlin Returns

Brace yourselves. Another two paragraph quest for the true meaning of life! or..well..the usual drab stuff dressed up in clever phrases.

seriously...No more Floridas or Ohios. Here's the first step Electoral College rendered irrelevant!

Let us all support such efforts. It only takes about 2/3 of the states to do this and it will mean that all future presidential elections actually elect the most popular candidate. it will mean all states count. it will mean "one person, one vote" actually means something. the shitheads in the little red states and the south won't have an electoral advantage because they have 2 senators. should 2 senators in Wyoming equal the 2 senators from California. talk about disproportionate representation.

Let Your Light Shine Down

Thanks to Collective Soul for today's headline. It's a great song. One of the few I play every time I don the Rhapsody mp3 player.

so what are you, or I, going to do today to let our light shine down? that's a challenge for every day, isn't it? what a shame for days to slip away when not only do you not shine, but doing so doesn't even cross your mind due to the daily distractions of "real life".

my cousin, Chris, is fighting for his life and he's letting his light shine in every post in his blog (see the link to Chris Olin). can we do any less? do we have to be scared to death to lift ourselves from the muck of laundry, bills to pay, and dishes to think about bigger things or reach out to people around us? it is a daily opportunity for self-discipline, I guess. you can't sit back and wait. like Jackson Browne says, "people you got the power to pull us through". he's so right.

Here's one illustration of letting your light shine. Harry Bernstein

Harry Bernstein, 96 year old first-time author. I think I'll buy his book from Amazon later, as a tribute to him. What a guy.

Motorcycle Ride

Went for a 15 mile ride around Seattle yesterday. No destination. Just "head out on the highway, looking for adventure"...Never got on the freeway. Stayed on city streets and went around Lake Union, up Westlake, through Fremont/Ballard to Golden Gardens and back home. Had to go over two metal bridge grates which makes me nervous, but that was the point of the ride. Just practice being in traffic, staying alert and maybe see a little something interesting. It is very "be here now" to ride when you really connect with it. The focus to be in the moment, to stay safe, quiets the chatter. The ping pong thoughts bouncing around fade away. In the good moments it's like a dream of flying or something. Lol....my mp3 on random play has just delivered "Highway To Hell" for my listening pleasure...right while I write about riding. Certainly hope AC/DC is wrong or that the road has quite a few miles left.

Friends

Maybe one way to let your light shine is to treasure and celebrate your friends. Kathy and I have certainly been blessed with lots of kindness from friends, particularly in the last year and 1/2. what a mystery how people connect across the distance between. everyone comes here alone and goes alone, but along the way, sometimes, you find those whose presence just feels right and makes the journey better. there's something there that doesn't occur with most people you meet, and that rareness makes it that much more valuable.

Last night we had dinner at Divine, near our house, with Eric Stephens and his wife, Rebecca. Eric and I met in 1977 or 1978. He owns a moving company and I've been hiring them for years to do office moves. So, there's a business connection, but there's more to it than that. He says what he means and means what he says, which I like. He works hard and cares about doing a good job. So do I. From that, we've known each other 30 years, through raising children, suffering losses, making a living, etc. Rebecca showed up on my door at the office to chew me out for being rude on the telephone to her when I was griping about some move problem. She was right..ha ha. So, we all had a nice dinner and griped about Bush, talked about kids, the stupid waiter, office politics and expensive purses. Such a great way to spend an evening sharing our perceptions and learning from each other.

The Shining

Time for to get on with my Sunday, time spent with my best friend, Kathy. Not sure what we'll do, but I hope I can remember to try to make it special some way, to learn something, to shine just a little bit.

Current Events

I am hard at work learning about my new job while still doing my old job. My boss retires on April 6. So far, I am having fun, but of course that is a honeymoon illusion that will disappear soon enough. Anyway, I'm pumped some these days and manage to get to work early most mornings.

My upcoming motorcycle journey from Seattle to Washington D.C. is also much on my mind. I've got work to do on the bike to get it ready, want to take a test ride to Portland and back to get a bit of longer distance experience, and need to finish arrangements for motels or camping on the ride. Tied in with that, Kathy and Lauren will be meeting me in D.C. at the end of my ride for a week vacation to see the sights..so we have to make arrangements for that.

But...before heading off for my Easy Rider odyssey Lauren will graduate from Lewis & Clark College on May 6! That is the big event in the near future and we are very excited about honoring her significant accomplishment. That will be a big weekend. Lauren has also recently become a barista at Starbucks! She worries a bit about what she will do now that she is a graduate, but I am not worried. She's smart, hard-working, kind to animals and people, and beautiful. The world lies before her.

Finally, my twin brother, Jim, will be here for Lauren's graduation, but also for our 60th (I know, that must be a typo) birthday on May 3.

So.....a busy time for Spring 2007.

Valentines Day

Odds & ends.

Got to work and found an e-valentine from my daughter. What a great way to start the day!

I've got a new job. My boss retiring and I will replace him. He says the increased money is a pittance compared to the headaches. Ha Ha...that's always the way, but I'm looking forward to some new challenges.

Getting pumped about riding the motorcycle from Seattle to Washington, D.C. in May for Rolling Thunder. My first long ride..gots lots to buy and do yet.

Had a great winter weekend at Birch Bay (almost to Canada)with friends Ananda and Linda. Walked on the beach, played bridge, sat in the hot tub, and cooked some great food.

Daily Ramble

Procrastination

Maybe a strategy for end running procrastination is to do something useful or valuable when you are avoiding doing something else that is important. That way, at least you get something done. But….that might help you avoid feeling guilty about what you have neglected…and that may not be good since presumably the guilty feeling is actually pleasurable, in a toothache sort of way, else why would you procrastinate to start with? Masochism, I suppose. The guilt of not doing the right thing gets you an outcome you perversely want: guilt.

Flying Away

I have gotten comfortable enough on the motorcycle that I have to work at keeping the speed down. I just want to goooooooooo! Not good, but it just sneaks up on me. I get used to 50 or 60 and it seems slow which leads to a constant escalation of perception about what is "fast". Conditions have to determine the right speed and the smart rider is going to respond to that "box" of traffic, visibility, and weather conditions in which he is riding, but the excited Bat person lurking in the soul just wants to fly.

Yada yada yada

Daily Stuff

Sunny and mild today in Seattle. I rode the motorcycle to work…a bit chilly in early a.m. but what fun. It is only four months from now and I will be somewhere in the middle of America riding with several hundred motorcycles on the way to Washington, D.C. I've been intrigued with the idea for three years and I'm finally almost there. Still lots of motorcyle gear and clothing to buy for the trip.

My boss has given notice that he intends to retire as of April 6th. About time. He hasn't really paid much attention or cared for years, and has sat back while various pieces of his responsibilities were transferred to other departments. I've applied for that job and find the prospect of a new role to be stimulating all kinds of ideas about improving things, etc. The flame still burns…although it has been at very low ebb, particularly since our loss.

Maybe the idea of new horizons (both literally and metaphorically), plus the weather this week which hints of spring, is lifting me up. Pray, let it be so.

The War

What despair it creates for me. It such an exact parallel to the Vietnam experience and we are doing it again. With the added cruel irony that most responsible and eager for it all avoided service in Vietnam. Yossarian is smiling somewhere! My boy, with his tendency to worry and assume the worst ( I guess he was right about that) was worried about being drafted. Now we don't need to worry about that and I wish we did…..but, there are hundreds, thousands, of parents out there who are going to suffer the same loss we have. Right now they may be worried, even fearful, but they still have hope. No one who has not lost a child can know how devastating it is to have hope obliterated in a cruel moment when a person in a uniform steps onto your porch. Welcome to the jungle. Thank you, Axel, and thank you foley82 for introducing me to GNR. Those are our children out there people, being sent to die by jumped up fools who won't go themselves.

Happy New Year

Best Wishes to all for 2007. We are back from two weeks in Germany. There is much to report, but later when jet lag has abated a bit. Travel is fun and all that, but there is no place like home. Hug your loved ones or call them. It's always the right time to show you care.

Sachi

This is Sachi about two years ago. He was stubborn, aggressive towards strangers, patient with the kids when they were young, accepted by the cats, strong, fierce bark, and loved to escape our yard and adventure around the neighborhood. Never went far. He could stop and smell a pee spot extensively....getting the many different aromas of the dogs that had passed. A good boy and I will miss him.

Holidays

My final for real estate is tomorrow night. Guess I am ready. Can't get too pumped up about right now. Being lazy.

Ralph the cat is on the table next to me. He's an orphan that joined us last winter and is usually aloof. But...when I come here and get on the computer he comes and joins me. I don't see him in here when the room is empty.

We're off to Germany in a week. Has gotten here fast. Hope it is fun and Kathy enjoys the time with Lauren.

I keep thinking I should get some cards, buy small gifts for the guys I work with, etc. Don't do it, though. My way forward is so slow that I may be moving backwards in the current of life....some days I think it is better.....but it has been 15 months since Seth was killed and it is hard. Just hard.

Seize The Day

Elizabeth Koto, a co-worker and friend of almost 20 years, died yesterday of cancer. Just diagnosed four months ago. Just before that she had joined Epicenter and started working out so she could get in shape. What a shame. She was always positive, willing to work on a problem, had a good heart and a moment for anyone. She went on many of the Christmas In April charitable projects when we fixed up houses for older people. Even after knowing her so long, I don't know if she was ever married, or had kids, or some of those details. She was in to visit us at work about six weeks ago and I went to see her. Already fairly frail at that point from the treatments, but she was upbeat and optimistic. I got a good hug from her. Bon voyage, Elizabeth, I will miss you.
See you later.

Sachi Memorial

Sachi is with us no more. He was blind, deaf, could barely walk, and had even lost his sense of smell. He couldn't find his food. The end was gentle for him.

He is the only dog I've ever had that we paid for. He was a puppy when we got him and our children were young. Shiba Inu was a new breed to us, one we had picked from a book. Very independent. He never learned to "come". Simply would not do so. If he got outside the yard he was off to explore. Wouldn't go far, but might bark at pedestrians. He was just big enough and nicely built with a broad chest to intimidate people. Once he got of the backyard when no one was home and scared the post woman enough that the postmaster suspended mail delivery to the entire block until I signed an acknowledgment that he exhibited vicious behavior and that I would keep him confined. Ha ha. What a trip. He was very handsome and frequently drew comments from strangers.

Unfortunately, he was plagued with health problems. Skin problems that left him itchy, scaly, mangy looking. Stones in his bladder that cost $1100 to remove. Cushing's Disease which we controlled for years with low doses of a chemotherapy drug. Rather, Kathy controlled it by carefully monitoring his condition and being involved in his care.

He was a fantastic guard dog and would rush to the front door any time anyone knocked and bark fiercely at them. Once they were inside and he understood that we accepted them as part of the pack, then he was o.k. with them. He was a fine dog and good friend.....we loved him and shall miss him. I trust he is getting acquainted with Butch and Jacko now, a couple of the best dogs that ever kept me company.

Thanksgiving 2006

The drive to Portland on Thanksgiving Day took 5 hours. Mostly due to heavy traffic from Seatac to almost Olympia. Grrrrr. We arrived at 4:30 p.m.

Thanksgiving was quite nice, thank you. Lauren, Danielle, Sara, Harlan cooked up a fine meal. Turkey was perfectly done. They had set up a ping pong table and covered it with a sheet. We had a fire, some candles, good food, and played three very competitive games of Cranium. I cannot hum a tune. We did not go around the table and individually give thanks, but I was very thankful to be with Lauren, in her house, with her friends, for the first Thanksgiving that she hosted.

On Friday, Lauren went with Kathy and I downtown for some shopping and holiday atmosphere. I got a new pair of shoes, bought Lauren some clothes, and we tried to wait for a big Christmas tree to be lit. But….the talkng head local radio "personalities" were yacking it up too long so we left.

Kathy and I ate some leftovers at Lauren's and then hit the road back to Seattle about 7 p.m. Got home just fine, no traffic jams anywhere.

Ja, verstehen sie Deutsch?

I think I got that wrong, but Lauren can tell me. Listening to cd's on learning German in anticipation of going there.

15 months tomorrow since I lost my boy. It is the rainiest November in Seattle history and the gray wet is seeping into my marrow and making my vision blurry. Is that rain or tears in my eyes?

Tomorrow we go to Portland where our fine girl and her roommates will be hosting Thanksgiving. Looking forward to that. We're going to stay at her house. Should be a fine time.

Best to all of you. Keep the rubber down, face into the wind, and be of good cheer........or else things will get really hard.