No idea what my title on this post means exactly. I just know my life has been so enriched by being a father that there is no way for me to connect with myself prior to children. I can of course remember that time, but my identity has so changed that it seems unreal to think of not being a father. I wouldn't say when I was a young man that I was eager to have children or gave it much thought, but now it seems to have been inevitable, destined, etc. Unfortunately, part of that destiny has included the death of my son. I feel I continue to be a father to him in the way I remember him and the ways we are honoring his memory.
I was blessed to have both a son and a daughter and I am struggling with how to love and cherish her as the special person she is, without our family life being overshadowed by the sadness of her brother's passing. She's a wonderful person who studying for a year at the University of Munich. We are going to see her at Christmas and that is cause for great anticipation. That is Lauren in the picture above in front of a museum in Munich. We love you, darling.
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